Babysitting
by yami4eva91
Summary: Mort has been recently divorced, can he survive a week trying to take care of 3 kids? funny consequences and LOTS OF MORT!
1. Chapter 1: The Phonecall

Babysitting: Chap1: The phone call

A/N: If you have a better name for this fic I am open for suggestions. Be kind this is my first ever fic ;) The more reviews I get the more I update!

Disclaimer: If I wrote Secret Window I would have been drooling at the real Johnny Depp on the movie set, not at home sighing and looking at his poster longingly…

Speaking/_thoughts_

This is set before Secret Window and Mort is about a month into the divorce although I'm probably gonna be mentioning it in the fic…. Anyway here's the fic!

"Mum you could just leave me and Kate here while you're away we'll take care of max' a voice whined as Jane dialed numbers in her address book to see if any one could take care of the kids while she was away she wasn't having any luck, she sorely regretted not doing this earlier.

"No, the last time I left you two alone with Max you tied him up and dyed his hair bright pink!" "But that was two years ago mum!" "Yeah I know so it will be something just as bad or worse! No I'm getting someone to take care of you whether you like them or not!" They argued back and forth for five minutes until Jane decidedly won.

"Well at least let me and Kate help you find someone, it'll take ages at the rate you're going, c'mon Kate we can help mum!" "I don't know…" Jane mumbled as her daughter Anna grabbed the book from her. "Don't worry mum we'll look and you dial" "It's not that it's just everybody's busy or too far away…" Jane was interrupted mid sentence by her daughter "I never knew we had an uncle Mort in the family, mum call him please" "But honey he's…" "Not very far away c'mon mum I've barely even heard of him before!" "Ok" Jane said tiredly as she dialed the number that Anna called out. "Hey Anna "her friend Kate asked "would it be possible that your uncle's last name is Rainey?" Anna checked the book "yeah it is" "because I think my dad owns one of his books, a freaky cousin of his gave it to him for Christmas, he read and said that it was a weird thriller but he liked it" Anna considered this for a minute "well if he's not busy you can tell your dad you met him!" she said brightening up at the thought.

Ring…Ring Ring

_Mmfffpphh... goddamn phone_

Ring Ring

_Stoppit already I wanna go back to sleep…_

Ring Ring

_You just won't give up will you... bloody phone_

Mort kept on insulting the phone until he thought that picking up the phone would make it stop ringing, although it would mean talking to someone…. And he sincerely hoped it wasn't his ex wife again.

"Hello" Jane heard the sleepy voice on the other end of the line remembering the last time she had heard it. "Hi mort listen I have a slight problem and was wondering if you could help me..." "And that problem being…. What might I ask ….Jane?" Mort was still groggy with sleep, and her talking quickly wasn't helping him wake up. Jane decided to take advantage of his sleepiness. "Well john and I have our anniversary coming up and john got us tickets for a cruise and we were so busy getting ready.." "Let me guess' mort interrupted "You want me to take care of the kids' while he was saying this he sorely regretted picking up the phone _why me? Why didn't I just let it ring?…bloody phone._

Jane's voice interrupted his thoughts, "would you mort? Oh thankyou you're a godsend'

_Just wait a minute did I even say yes? Well if it gets her off the phone and lets me sleep…might as well say yes._ "Hey hold up there Jane, for how long and how many are there?" he interrupted her mid sentence "well there's max and Anna and Anna's friend Kate as well, her parents are in New York. The longest john and I will be is a week; will you do it for me mort? Everyone else is busy and I know this is a bad time but…will you? Mort sighed he was hoping for peace and quiet when he moved into the isolated cabin at tashmore lake after his recent divorce, but it seemed he wasn't going to get it. He sighed resignedly "Ok Jane just make sure they don't annoy me too much or try and destroy the house, they're going to go straight to a motel if they do' there was a hint of warning in his voice that made Jane understand that he wasn't going to take any crap from the kids. "Ok mort" she answered feeling relieved that she had found someone in time. "I'll drop them off tomorrow ok? See you then" "yeah whatever" and with that, mort hung up and went back to sleep on the couch.

"Ok its official kids, your uncle mort is minding you while we're away" Jane said as she hung up the phone. "Where mum, our place or his?" Anna said impatiently "his so get packed and tell your brother, you'll be going there tomorrow."

As they ran off Jane wondered how mort would cope with his recent divorce while having to take care of three kids for a week. _Let's hope he has a lot of patience, he's probably going to need it._


	2. Chapter 2 Meet 'Uncle Mort'

Babysitting chap: 2 Meet 'Uncle Mort'

First of all I just want to thank Snufflesgal for being my beta and encouraging me to continue with this fic ;)

Disclaimer: I DON'T WANNA SAY IT (gets prodded with a shovel) oh all right it isn't mine sighs

Speaking/_thoughts_

"Max, Anna, Kate are you all packed? Remember, it's for almost a week!" Jane reminded as she ran around helping them find clothes; while also trying to pack herself.

"Mum, I wanna go with you and dad. Anna and Kate will just do something horrible to me!" her son Max whined.

"No they won't, your uncle Mort isn't going to be very lenient. A few stuff ups and he's sending you straight to motel. Then, your uncle Mort won't be the one to be scared of it'll be me and your father. Try to behave while you're there ok?" she warned mum.

"Can I pack my gameboy?"

"Yes just try not to make too much noise while you're there."

"Why mum?"

Jane sighed and turned to face her son. "Because, Max, Mort bought the cabin to get some peace and quiet to do his work and he probably won't like it if you're running around squealing and blowing up aliens on your gameboy."

"Yes mum"

"Now, go and get in the car, I've got to help your sister"

She hurried down the hallway to Anna's room, calling out, "C'mon you two, time to get going!"

"Yeah mum, in a minute" replied her daughter"

"Well be quick about it. Give me your bags, I'll be waiting in the car. Hurry up"

"Ok, ok c'mon Kate." And with that they jumped in the car and were on their way. Mort was sitting behind his desk staring at his laptop and listening to the drone of a vacuum cleaner. He turned to face his dog, Chico, and said in a low voice,

"If that woman isn't gone by the time those kids go I swear I'm going to kill her. I wouldn't be able to stand her and those kids together in the same room." Chico just yawned and went back to sleep. "Am I that boring? Well, I'll just be boring somewhere else then."

As he headed down the stairs, Chico got off the sofa and followed him.

"Don't want to be left alone with the cleaning lady, eh? I don't blame you, she'll probably mistake you for a bag of trash and throw you out."

Mort headed over to the fridge and got himself a Mountain DewT. When he turned around the housekeeper was standing right behind him. He jumped.

"Sorry Mr. Rainey, I didn't mean to startle you, but I'm finished."

"Already?"

"Yes. So, I'll see you next week Mr. Rainey"

"Ok then..bye" Mort said, feeling inwardly relieved that she was going. Just after she closed the door, she opened it again.

"Mr. Rainey, are you sure you don't want me to make you something to eat before I go?'

"Yes I'm sure,"

"Well, goodbye Mr Rainey"

"Bye"

When he heard the woman's car drive down the lane he let out a huge sigh of relief. He then plopped down on the couch and soon fell asleep.

"Mum, are we there yet?" Max asked for what seemed the millionth time.

"No, not yet" she replied automatically.

"Hey mum," asked Anna.

"Yes dear?"

"Why didn't you want to call uncle Mort?"

"Well, it's been a rough time for him since he got divorced and I didn't want to hassle him too much."

"Sorry mum, I didn't know, I just hadn't heard of him and wanted to meet him" said Anna guiltily

"Hey! Don't feel bad because you didn't know. He said yes, didn't he?" Anna nodded, feeling a bit better about the situation.

"Now when we get there I want you to be polite. Don't go roaring around everywhere in the house because he probably won't like that, ok?"

The three kids nodded agreement. A few minutes later Anna decided to break the silence.

"Where exactly does uncle Mort live, mum?"

"I think he lives a few minutes outside a town called Tashmore Lake. We'll be in town in a minute. See, there it is!" she said.

"Pretty remote" Anna and Kate said together.

"That doesn't matter; you'll have heaps of fun! There's a lake and you can go hiking and lots of other fun things, just wait and see," Jane said. They passed through the small town and started to drive down a road that had pine forests on either side of it. They passed a gas station and their mother began murmuring to herself.

"Lets see, now where is it.. Ah here it is"

The vehicle turned onto a narrow road, and an old jeep and a cabin appeared.

"Well, we know he's home!" Jane said cheerfully. "C'mon kids, we might have to bang on the door. He might be asleep or something like that, ok?"

"Ok." At the prospect of banging on something, Max jumped out of the car and ran towards the door.

"I sure hope he isn't a boring old man," Anna whispered to Kate, remembering the last horrible visit to an Uncle 'Bob' and shuddering. Before Kate got to answer, Max started banging overenthusiastically on the door. Jane peered through the window.

"Oh, he was asleep on the couch. Just wait, he's coming. Max stop banging on the door!"

"I knew it," Anna thought. "He must be an old man, old men always fall asleep on couches. dammit." When 'Uncle Mort' finally opened the door, Anna got a big surprise.

He wasn't old, not by a longshot. Man, he didn't even have a wrinkle. Anna felt relieved, but a bit surprised. His hair was ruffled from sleeping on the couch and was sticking up in every possible direction. He was wearing an old robe and black plastic framed glasses sat on his nose. They were a bit crooked, considering that he'd shoved them on before going quickly to the door to stop the seemingly endless banging.

Jane broke the silence by striding towards the door and hugging him. "Hi, Mort."

Mort was looking a bit shocked. He thought that the banging was coming from a desperate door to door salesman (he wasn't expecting them until later). There was also the fact that Jane had lunged on him and was squeezing all the breath from him while greeting him.

Mort managed to gasp, "Hello, excuse me Jane but I need to breathe"

"Oops, sorry Mort"

When Jane peeled herself off of Mort she stepped back and pulled the kids towards her.

"I don't think you've gotten a chance to meet the kids! Here's my daughter, Anna and my son, Max." Mort looked a bit scared of them because he thought they were going to latch onto him like their mother had. To his relief, they only timidly shook hands with him.

While they were doing that, Mort desperatly hoped that whoever had banged on the door wasn't thinking of doing it again anytime soon.

"Well, come in," offered Mort, breaking the uneasy silence. The kids trooped in and perched on the edge of the couch while Jane chattered away to Mort about the family and what was happening.

"He still looks sleepy, doesn't he?" Kate whispered looking over at Mort.

"Yeah, you know, I don't think he's taking any of it in," replied Anna.

All three kids looked upon the scene and tried not to laugh. Jane had made Mort sit down in a chair opposite her at the table while she chatted away happily. All Mort could do was nod and smile at intervals as if he understood what she was talking about, while trying not to fall asleep with his head in his hands.

"Do you think we should save him from all the gossip?" Max asked with a frown. Anna nodded. They all got up off the couch and walked towards the table.

"Er. mum? Shouldn't you be helping Uncle Mort set up our beds or something?" Anna interrupted.

Mort gave her a look that said "Thank you," and "I want to sleep," at the same time.

"Well Mort, where were you planning to let the kids sleep?" Jane asked.

Mort gave a jaw popping yawn and then said "There's a room below the stairs that has a double bed and one of you could sleep in the foldout that Jane brought,"

"Mort could you help us unload the car?"

"Yeah, ok," Mort got up off the chair and headed out the door. '

"Er, Uncle Mort, aren't you going to take your robe off before you go outside? Your neighbors might see you" Max asked.

"Nah, you could strut around in your underwear up here and no one would see you until you got to the highway," replied Mort sounding slightly amused. He saw Max look a bit embarrassed about asking and saved him from further humiliation by heading out the door to the car. Jane quickly followed him.

"Well, come on you guys, we can't do it all by ourselves." Jane said as she poked her head back through the door. They all unpacked the car. Mort went back into the house and made sure the room was clean.

The kids and Jane walked into the room lugging the suitcases and the foldout bed. When they had put them in the room they started to look for Mort. Jane remembered the room upstairs so they burst in and found Mort standing by the bed gazing at a photograph.

"Mort, are you ok?" Jane asked softly, slowly approaching him. Mort snapped out of his daze and put the photo quickly in a nearby drawer.

"Oh, what? Fine, oh I'm fine, just fine. I just cleared out a few drawers for the kids clothes in the other room and I found this. it doesn't matter. I decided to put it up here out of the way," He strode quickly out of the room and down the stairs.

"Well, come on let's go downstairs. I need to talk to Mort. I'll have to go soon, so you can say goodbye to me after I've finished talking. Oh and Max, can you go get those bags of groceries from the car? Thanks"

They went downstairs where they found Mort lying on a mat near the table stroking Chico under the chin.

"Hey Mort," Jane said gently. "Is that Chico?"

"Yes, this is Chico"

"I hope you don't mind but I brought some cereal and things for the kids to eat. Max is getting them from the car now."

"That's fine with me."

Mort said as he got up off the floor. "Aren't you supposed to be celebrating your anniversary on a cruise instead of worrying about how I'm coping with life? I'm sure the kids will be fine. We'll call your cell phone if there's any trouble and we'll see you at the end of the week"

"Yeah, c'mon mum, don't you have to get up early to get to the big ship you're traveling on or something?" whined Max, his hands were full of bags of groceries. Mort looked at him for a moment.

"Are they that desperate to get away from their mother that they'd willingly spend time with me? Or maybe they like me? Why on earth would they like me though? I'm a semi miserable wreck.who knows. they're kids."

Once again Mort's thoughts were interrupted by Jane. She was hugging him and telling him that everything would be okay.

"All right. Jane shouldn't you be going?"

"Oh.yes,"

She hugged each of the kids (including Kate) and then headed outside with the kids and Mort following behind. She hopped in the car and drove down the road while the kids and Mort waved goodbye behind her.

When the kids finally turned around Mort was already at the porch door. They ran to catch up to him. None of them spoke a word until they got to the kitchen, where they started to unpack the food that Jane had brought. Mort looked at it all and turned to the kids and asked hesitantly,

"Well, er.what do you want for dinner. Though it might take a while for the oven to heat up."

"That's fine," said Anna "We can wait."

A/N: Wow what a really corny, cheesy, cheap weird ending to a chapter. Once again please review and tell me what you think because I'd really appreciate it ;)

Next Chapter: Chicken, chips and Mountain Dew….


	3. Chapter 3 Chicken, Fries and Mountain De

Babysitting chapter 3: Chicken, Fries and Mountain Dew  
A/N: Hi there again, wow thanks to my reviewers who encouraged me to get off my ass and write this chapter! And also to my beta, Snufflesgal for doing this chapter overnight for me;)

After an hour of waiting they gave up on the oven and microwaved the food.   
"Uncle Mort, aren't you going to eat something?" asked Anna.

"Well, I'm not very hungry and…" he stammered from over by the door.

Anna, Kate and Max turned around from the table and saw Mort  
trying to sneak out of the room. They quickly grabbed him and dragged  
him back to the table where he sat reluctantly. They put a plate full of microwaved  
French fries and chicken nuggets in front of him while Anna commanded him to eat.

"If I am going to eat, it won't be this stuff," he said, looking up at them. He pushed the plate of food away from himself. Mort stood up, quickly made himself a PB&J sandwich, grabbed a can of   
Mountain Dew, sat back down, and started eating.

After a few minutes he looked up at their stunned faces and asked, "Aren't you going to eat something?" He smiled winningly at them. The kids sat back down to eat and watched Mort feed the crusts from him sandwich to Chico.

After a while Mort went upstairs to take a shower, leaving them and Chico   
alone.

"What's wrong with chicken and fries?" Max asked, breaking the silence. Anna  
and Kate both laughed. They finished their dinner and put the plates and  
cups in the sink. They almost ran into Mort coming down the stairs.

"Whoa, where's the race?" Mort asked. "The foldout bed has been set up and you can have a shower either now or in the morning. The bathroom's joined onto the bedroom upstairs and  
your mom brought extra towels. They're on the bed. Everything good? Cool. I'm going to  
bed."

"Um... Uncle Mort?"

Mort paused on his way to the couch. "Yes?"

"Goodnight."

Mort stood by the couch looking at them for a moment. "Goodnight kids" he said,  
before turning around and heading for the couch.

The three kids hurried into the bedroom where there was a short and silent  
scuffle for the double bed, which the girls won. They were trying to be as  
silent as possible, so they would not invoke the wrath of "Uncle Mort". They all agreed  
on having a shower in the morning, since nobody wanted to go to bed with  
wet hair. In turns they went up the stairs, into the bathroom, got  
changed and went to bed. They were all thinking about what would happen the  
next day.

Mort lay, staring at the ceiling.

_I hope those bloody kids won't destroy the house while they're   
here..._

A/N: Well I'm sorry to all of you who like long chapters but I promise the next one will be extra long! Please read and review! The more you review the more I update!

Next Chapter: Showers and sleep


	4. Chapter 4: Showers and sleep

Babysitting chap: Showers and sleep

A/N: Thanks to my beta, Snufflesgal for helping me with this fic and all my reviewers out there who encouraged me to write this chapter instead of other things I could be doing like watching television and…. sleeping.;)

Disclaimer: That one word says it all I think….

Mort was still fast asleep when the kids woke up. They headed towards the kitchen expecting him to be awake (It was almost 10 already!) like their parents who nearly always woke up before them, they were quite shocked when they saw Mort still asleep on the couch. "Should we wake him up?" Max asked the older girls "Lets just get breakfast and see if he wakes up then" Anna said "What cereals did your mother get Anna?" "I dunno lets have a look…."

Ten minutes later they were munching on cereal and debating whether they should wake Mort up or not. "You know, I've never known anyone who could sleep for that long without waking at least once" said Kate, trying to start a conversation. "That's probably what he's been doing since the divorce, moping around and sleeping, the poor guy" said Anna in a low voice, just incase said uncle was awake and listening. "Well" said Max "I'm finished" as he put his dishes in the sink. "So that means I'm the first in the shower" and with that he rushed as fast as he could up the stairs without making any loud noises.

"That little wretch I hope he doesn't use all the hot water, but knowing him he probably will" said Anna angrily "Then why don't you run the hot water tap in the kitchen until he gets out?" said a sleepy voice behind them "Hey uncle Mort, you sure do sleep in late" Mort tried to suppress a huge yawn but failed miserably. "Yeah with noone around to wake me that's what usually happens…. Aren't you going to have a shower?" "Kate will" Anna answered "When my brother gets out and then me after her if he even gets out before the hot water runs out but that isn't likely" Mort shuffled over, slumped down in a nearby seat and put his head on top of his folded arms and said "Isn't there some unwritten hospitality rule that friends go in the shower before family?" "Yeah but my brother's version is, he who shovels down his breakfast the fastest, gets to go in the shower first" "Oh" Mort said as he pulled his head off his arms for a minute and looked at the girls. "I hope whatever he had for breakfast doesn't end up in the shower, I'm not very fond of washing out vomit" Both the girls laughed at this while Mort put his head back on his arms and dozed. "C'mon Kate, Max has been in there long enough, let's bang on the door until he gets out" "Ok, let's go…. Er Anna has your uncle fallen asleep again?" They both looked at the silent slumbering figure of Mort on the table "Well it sure looks like it" Anna answered.

They both headed upstairs and began banging on the door, Max's voice rang out "Give me a minute I've just gotten out!" "Five minutes only" commanded Anna, then she and Kate headed downstairs to the kitchen where the tap was running and Mort and Chico were back on the mat. Mort looked up at them standing over him and asked "Did it work?" while nodding over at the sink where the tap was still running. "Yes it did thankyou" said Kate as Anna turned the tap off "Well I wanted to know if it would actually work" _and all your banging and yelling woke me up... _"So I decided to give it a try" _and see if it would make all that stupid noise stop. _ He looked at the tap "I hope I haven't run the hot water out…. It takes longer to heat up than the oven does." Mort frowned at the thought.

Max came into the room just as the girls started laughing again; he saw Mort lying on the mat and asked "What happened was there a funny accident?" "No but there'll be an accident if you've used all the hot water you little scamp!" said Anna angrily "Hey" Mort said from the floor, surprising the kids with his tone of voice, they all looked at him "There'll be no so-called accidents here ok?" _because if there is your mum will make me have an 'accident' as well._ Mort looked at them for a few minutes his stern face turning into one of confusion when he saw Max's hair. "Didn't you use a towel?" Once again, the girls started laughing.

A/N: Well was it good? I think it was a bit weird and corny but it was a gap filler, I got the idea from my household because there is a constant war of siblings battling to get in the shower before the hot water runs out! Well please review, your comments make me smile, and no flames please because I am easily influenced and may delete the story without thinking ;P

Next chapter: Blackouts and Blunders


	5. Chapter 5: Blackouts and Blunders

Babysitting chap 5: Blackouts and blunders

Disclaimer: I own Mort oh yes I do he's right here- damn he got away… guess he's not mine then… Come back Mort!

A/N: Warning there's a cliffhanger at the end he he he. So you'd better review fast and then I might update quicker. Once again thanks to all my reviewers and my beta Snufflesgal for helping me with this fic. Gives Mort plushies to all.

Max tried to keep a straight face amid all the gales of laughter coming fromthe girls, but in the end he joined in with them. Mort failed to see thefunny side of his statement. He quickly exited the room followed by Chico.Once in the living room, he walked over to the couch and, inevitably, fell asleep.

After a while the humor of Mort's statement wore off and Kate went upstairsto take a shower. This left Anna and Max to find Mort. They stood near the couch, watching him for a few minutes.

"Should we wake him up or not?" Anna finally inquired.

_No need, you already did that by talking_, Mort thought. He caught himself just before he let out a sigh of annoyance and kept feigning sleep.

"I have no idea," Max replied. Just then, Chico waddled up to them. "Um, Anna?"

"Yes max?"

"Is it just me, or is there something not quite right about Chico's eyes?"

Mort decided to join the conversation. "He has cataracts…I think."

"Uncle Mort?" Max asked, startled by Mort's sleepy voice.

"Yes wha.." Mort grumbled. Even though he had woken up a few minutes ago, Mort was still trying to wake up properly.

"How many times do you plan to fall asleep today?" Max didn't want to be rude, but he wanted to know.

"As many times… as I want to unless I have a reason for staying up I sleep."_ Does that answer your question?_

"Ok" Max replied.

Just then, Kate came bounding down the stairs. "Hey Anna, it's your turn in the shower!" Kate was rubbing her hair down with a towel.

"I hope there's still some hot water left" Anna answered.

"Well when I got out it was still hot."

"Ok"

While Anna ran up the stairs to have a shower, Kate headed towards the couch. Mort was still lying down and Max was standing in front of him, absentmindedly patting Chico. "So, what happened while I was in the shower?"

"Nothing much really," Max replied. "Hey, Uncle Mort?"

"What?"

"Don't you have a TV?"

"No, why would I want a TV? It would distract me too much from my work." _Huh, what work? I've barely 'worked' since I came out here._

"Oh."

Max's voice distracted Mort from his thoughts. "Well I've smuggled enough electronic stuff here for us to entertain ourselves with."

"So, that's why that bag I carried in was so heavy! I hope you remembered to put padding in or all  
your stuff will be damaged." Kate said thoughtfully. While the two kids started a conversation about technology, Mort started thinking to himself. _By the sounds of things the electricity bill is going to go up… If the kids ever get lost I'll just follow the beeps that Max's toys make…heh nothing to worry about._

Mort grinned and attempted to fall asleep listening to the babble of the two kids in the background. But when Anna came down from her shower, he couldn't escape the noise. He went upstairs and decided to try and do his work for a change. The girls and Max lugged a suitcase full of electronic gear into the living room while Mort sat behind his laptop trying to find some inspiration when. Eventually, Anna and Kate found him.

"So, this is where you've been hiding! We looked at the couch, the table, and the mat but we didn't look here." Anna said.

Mort snorted with amusement. "You only looked at the places where I've been sleeping."

"But," Anna continued "I heard a laptop turn on and we decided to look up here."

Mort stared at her with a strange look "Your point is? Oh, I don't care anymore. What's Max doing?"

"He's downstairs hooking up a Game cube." Kate replied.

"Well I hope he doesn't cause a power surge." Just then, the lights glowed bright, flickered and went out.

"Whoops." said a small voice from downstairs.

"Max!" the two girls shouted simultaneously. It was overcast and almost dark outside so there was very little light coming in and the drawn blinds made the house even darker.

"Watch out for the stairs." said a voice behind the girls. Mort was bathed in the glow from the laptop, and he didn't look very happy.

"Max are you alright?" Anna called down.

"Yes, Chico's bumping into things and I think my Game cube is broken." Anna started muttering darkly about what she what she would do with Max's game cube.

Kate looked over at Mort. 'You haven't fallen asleep again, have you Mort?"

"No." He looked up from the desk. "I'm trying to remember where the fuse box is." There was a long silence. Mort said suddenly, "Hah, now I remember! It's beside the gas cylinders! You two stay here while I go downstairs. By the looks of things, it's almost night. Max, see if you can find your way to the front door, there's a flashlight on the table beside it."

Mort started walking down the stairs the same time that Chico was walking up them. Mort tripped over Chico with a strangled yell, whacking his head hard on the banister. There was the muffled thump of a body rolling down the stairs, then silence.

A/N: Told you there'd be a cliffhanger! Now if you review I will update quicker and you will see what I have done to Mort!


	6. Chapter 6: Mort's Mishap

Babysitting chap 6: Mort's mishap

Disclaimer: If I owned Secret Window do you think that I would be writing a disclaimer?

A/N: I'm baaaaaaccccckkk! I've finally gotten this chap finished! Sorry that I haven't updated in a while ( don't kill me!) but I've been kind of busy with my other fics and schoolwork… (goddamn teachers I'll give you homework…) Anyhoo for the reviews that didn't get answered I'm sorry I was reeeeaaallly busy but to answer your questions or comments:

**Fala Delacroix**: Your review did help in saving Mort's life sooner (heheheee)

And

**pirate princess101808**: Funny about you saying you'd haunt me because I had scary nightmares of a clown with a screwdriver coming after me ….did you do that? (Narrows eyes) how did you know that I'm terrified of clowns? And I also agree that Mort, Mountain Dew and corn are sweet.

Thanks for everyone who reviewed CAUSE THIS FIC HAS NOW GOT 10 REVIEWS! Yeah whoohoo! (I feel special) And thanks to my magical, marvelous beta Snufflesgal for putting up with me ;P ok! Now on with the fic!

* * *

"Uncle Mort!" Anna screamed. "Max, get the flashlight. Quick! Where's Chico?" 

"He's still on the stairs," said Kate. "be careful coming down."

"Uncle Mort?" Max said anxiously, shining the flashlight in Mort's eyes. He got a groan in response. "Uncle Mort, where does it hurt?" Max asked softly.

"My eyes," groaned Mort.

"Your eyes?" Max asked, puzzled.

"Because you're shining the flashlight in them." Mort groaned again and tried to move.

"No Mort." Kate said softly. "Don't move until we know if anything's broken."

"The only thing that feels broken is my head." Mort promptly blacked out.

"Do you think we should move him?" asked Max quietly.

"Well, from what I can see nothing looks broken…I don't know…Anna?"

"Let's try and move him to the couch, but first let's try and get the power back on."

'I could try the fuse box, but I'd need someone to hold the flashlight for me," Max said.

"I'll do it," Kate said. "Will you be alright here alone Anna?"

"Yes" Anna replied. "Max, do you have anything in your bag that has a light on it? I need to be able to see while you two are gone."

"Yeah, my phone has a light on the end of it." Max rummaged around in his pockets until he found it and passed it to her. "Are you sure you'll be alright alone?"

"Oh c'mon. The faster you get it done the sooner we can help Uncle Mort."

"Ok." With one last worried look at Mort, who had slipped back into unconsciousness, they both hurried outside and ran around to the side of the house. Max opened the fuse box while Kate held the flashlight steady. Luckily there were a few spare fuses and Max soon got the power back to  
the house. Max slammed the fuse box shut and he and Kate ran back inside the house.

Mort looked worse now that the lights were on. His forehead had already started to bruise and blood was trickling down the side of his face from a cut just below his hairline. Anna had Mort's head on her lap and she was trying to mop up the blood with her handkerchief. Amazingly, his  
glasses still were intact and laying at the bottom of the stairs with nothing more than a scratch  
on one of the lenses.

"Are you alright Anna?" asked Max, noticing her pale face.

"Yeah I'm fine. I'm just not used to wiping blood off a relatives face."

"Well, we'd better try and get him on onto the couch." said Kate. Glancing at Mort, she added, "But I don't know how we're going to do it."

"Maybe we could drag him," Max suggested as he picked up Mort's glasses and set them on the coffee table.

"That would probably be the best option, but let's keep a pillow between him and the floor." Anna said, looking at Mort. "We can't let him get more bruised than he already is."

Max grabbed a pillow and put it on the floor before helping Anna and Kate lift him onto it with difficulty. They managed to drag Mort to the couch without jolting him too much. The three kids looked at the couch and then Mort.

"Erm." said Max.

"We'll start with his head and shoulders. When that part of him is on the couch we'll just swing the rest of him up by his legs." Anna said decisively.

Five minutes later, they sat back catching their breath after struggling to get Mort's limp, unconscious body onto the couch. "It looks like his cut has stopped bleeding."

"Anna, I wouldn't just call that a cut. It looks like he might need stitches." They were interrupted mid-conversation by Chico waddling up to them from the stairs. He didn't appear to have any lasting damage.

"The culprit reveals himself and begs for forgiveness and food. Well," said Anna, pausing to pat him. "Say sorry to Mort when he wakes up, not me."

The kids stood around the couch until Kate piped up "C'mon you guys, lets go to bed. I'm sure Mort will be fine." They all cast one last look at Mort's unconscious body before going upstairs to change for bed.

* * *

When Mort woke up the kids were still in asleep. He struggled to sit upright on the couch. 

'_Hell, my head hurts… how did I get on the couch? The last thing I remember was me at the bottom of the stairs feeling as though my brains were dribbling out…' _Mort thought, putting a hand gingerly up to the cut on his head. _'Nope… my brains defiantly are still there because they're telling me that I'm throbbing everywhere… shit, now I wish that I had of lost my brains, at  
least then I wouldn't feel anything…'_

Mort kept this train of thought for several more minutes until he decided to try and find some  
painkillers. He stood up, swayed with dizziness and plopped back down onto the couch cursing and groaning. That was enough to wake the kids.

Mort had found his glasses and, finding something else to moan about, started whining to himself about the scratch on the lenses. He put them on and saw the three kids standing over him looking concerned and relieved at the same time. Mort put a hand up to stop them talking and irritating his headache.

He said in a low voice, "Firstly, Thank you for not letting me sleep on the floor. Second, if you are going to talk make it soft or my head is going to split open in two. Thirdly, there is a medicine cabinet in the bathroom. I trust you not to eat anything in there because that will make your mother more than angry at me. I think there's some painkillers in there. Would you please go and get them? Finally, where is that bastard Chico, because blind or not he is going to suffer a very long and painful death." As Kate and Anna went upstairs to find painkillers for Mort, Max stayed downstairs with him.

"Are you really going to kill Chico?" Mort looked up at him, grinned and winced at the pain that movement caused.

"Nah, even though I feel like wringing his neck until his eyes pop out, I'm not gonna kill him, he's just not going to get any pb&j sandwiches." Max started to laugh a little, but stopped when he  
saw Mort wince.

"Sorry,"

"It's alright kid, don't worry about it." Luckily for Mort, when the girls came back they remembered to be quiet.

"Uncle Mort, we found a full bottle of dissolvables and a half empty box of aspirin." Anna whispered.

"Thanks" Mort said. He took the box, muttering that he hated the dissolvable painkillers, before popping a few pills in his hand. Max got him a glass of water. Mort swallowed the pills and glanced at the kids.

"Quit worrying about me and get some breakfast for yourselves." When the kids headed into the kitchen Mort stretched out onto the couch and winced when his body reminded him of the bruising that he had gotten on the stairs. He turned onto his side facing the back of the couch,  
cursing his bad luck. When the kids came back from the kitchen munching on toast, Mort had already fallen asleep.

* * *

A/N: Well, one thing I know is that Mort's gonna be pretty sore when he wakes up (poor Mort) Anyway Ideas? Comments? No flames I am still fragile from all those evil screwdriver wielding clown nightmares (see top comments) So please review, you have taken the time to read this so I would appreciate it if you took 2 more minutes and review this chap for me ok? Good Untile the next chapter :P 

Next chapter: Disinfectant and Disagreements


	7. Chapter 7: Disinfectant and Disagreement

A/N: Hey guys! I'm back! From my long vacation in Couch Potato Land…. Man it's fun there. Sorry I haven't been updating my stories for a while; I've been really busy with school and stuff (and my sister using the computer all night hasn't been helping) I might be updating a few other stories this weekend cause my parents and my little bro aren't gonna be home! (Dances) One more thing; I think my faithful computer hasn't been sending its emails properly so if you're reading this Snufflesgal, I am truly and deeply sorry, I'm not sure if my computer sent you the emails…. With all that said, on with the 7th chappie! D

Babysitting chap 7: Disinfectant and disagreements

Mort woke to the sounds of the kids in the kitchen; they were debating on what to have for lunch. _Oh crap, not good, I'm stiff as a freaking board. Let me die now. _ Mort slowly got up and went towards the kitchen. _Aspirin, lots of aspirin. _

"Max, no! If you want pizza we'll have it tonight because it'll take ages to cook."

"Well, what do you suggest we have then?" he answered back to Anna

"Why not have a PB&J sandwich?" _ And stop your whining_

"Uncle Mort! You're awake!" Anna exclaimed

"Yeah I wish I wasn't" Mort replied with a moan. The kids led him over to a chair, when he was seated; the girls began to fuss over him while max made two PB&J sandwiches for mort and himself. Mort was gazing at the girls with a befuddled expression on his face _What are they worrying about? It's just a bloody (heh) cut for crying out loud _

A voice interrupted Mort's thoughts, "Er, uncle Mort? I made you a sandwich" Max received a grateful look from mort as he turned away from the girls and took a bite from the sandwich but was interrupted from his lunch/late breakfast by Anna poking him softly on the arm.

"Sorry uncle mort… but we have to… er"

"What?" mort asked tiredly _why can't I just be able to eat this sandwich and go back to the couch to die… peacefully!_

"We need to clean the cut with antiseptic before it goes nasty." Kate said quickly

"Bloody hell, why me?" he sighed heavily "I do know that that stuff stings more than it does you good, so I'm not having it anywhere near me ok?" and with that mort grabbed his sandwich, wobbled over to the fridge and got a can of Mountain Dew and went back to the couch, while all the time muttering about 'bloody antiseptic' and 'get a bloody cut on your head and you're a hospital case'

From behind the girls max whispered to them, "Put it on his cut when he falls asleep or otherwise he won't let you do and it'll become infected" the girls agreed on this ad made sandwiches of their own and sat beside Mort along with max on the couch. They at their sandwiches in silence, Mort finished before the kids, got off the couch and started slowly making his way towards the stairs.

"Uncle Mort, where are you going?" Anna asked

"To have a shower and wash the gunk off my hair." He replied

"Gunk, what gunk?" asked Kate without thinking, Mort stared pointedly at her for a few seconds, then gradually started to head up the stairs.

"I think he means the blood from the cut that soaked some of his hair, that's all" Anna replied quietly so Mort couldn't hear her

"Oops, I forgot" Kate said sheepishly

"Don't worry about it, I'm sure Mort isn't" said Anna reassuringly

"C'mon lets go outside, I'm sick of getting cooped up inside." said Max

They walked outside and decided to go for a walk; they soon found a well-worn path that wound its way through the trees by the lake. Meanwhile, Mort had had a shower and washed his hair (all the while cursing and groaning about the discomfort it caused his cut) he stumped carefully down the stairs wearing his robe, went to the kitchen and grabbed a packet of Doritos, he slumped down on the couch and started to mindlessly munch on the cheesy goodness of the Doritos.

After a while he noticed something, it was quiet, TOO quiet. _ Shit _(crunch)_ where are they? _(crunch) he reluctantly got up off the couch, dropped his packet of chips on the table, took off his robe and slipped into his jacket and shoes. He pulled on his beanie with a wince and headed out the door. While he was wondering where he should start looking first, he heard screams in the distance.

A/N: Whoops I forgot to thanks all the reviewers from last chapter… well I'm saying thankyou now! (Huggles) Updates may be slower, since my school decided to block Fanfiction from the school accounts (stupid teachers) I think that this chapter is kinda corny… don't you? Anyhoo R&R!

Next Chapter: Frights, Fights and Flashbacks


	8. Chapter 8: Frights,Fights and Flashbacks

A/N: It's me again…your screwup of an author….sorry to my Beta reader for not even sending this to her….my account lost your email…I'll be surprised if anybody actually wants to read this….please feel free to abuse the hell out of me one and all….Merry Christmas…

* * *

Mort half-walked half-ran towards the screams, finding he path that the kids had used while cursing himself about agreeing to take care of the kids. _Couldn't let it ring oh no, I just _had_ to pick it up and say yes didn't I? Stupid git, stupid morning, stupid relations, stupid world, stupid stupid stupid!_

He was walking faster now, ramming his walking stick in the ground, his feet unconsciously tracing the path. He went around the next bend and stopped dead in his tracks. The kids were in the shallows of the lake, splashing each other. Max had his back to him, splashing out at the girls while they were splashing him back. Mort leaned on his stick and narrowed his eyes. _Stupid kids_

"Having fun?"

The children froze at the sound of his voice, Max slowly turned, dripping, to face him. Mort raised his eyebrows, expecting an explanation.

"We…uh…fell in?"

Mort sighed and rolled his eyes at the comment. He turned around and started to walk back to the cabin. _ I've got bad karma; I must have burnt down an orphanage in a past life or something._

"Uncle Mort" The kids started running after him "What's going to happen, are you going to send us to a motel?"

Mort suddenly whirled around to face the kids "Well I honestly don't know what to do, I'm open to suggestions! What are you supposed to do when you have no idea where the children you're looking after have gone off to? Then when you hear them screaming bloody murder what are you supposed to think?"

The kids glanced at each other but didn't reply. Mort had already started to walk back to the cabin. Once again, the kids ran to catch up with him. "We're sorry Mort, we should have said we were going for a walk."

"Then why didn't you?" Mort asked without taking his eyes off the path.

"Well…. we didn't think you'd mind."

Mort sighed with frustration and opened the porch door. He walked into the house and slumped down onto the couch. He leaned back, closed his eyes and began rubbing his temples, realising this made his gash sting he stopped rubbing and winced. _Bloody kids, what am I going to do? I could send them to a motel…_ But then Mort remembered that night, Amy screaming his name and sobbing, Ted yelling at him angrily while the hotel manager stood at the door looking confused…

"Uncle Mort?" The kids had been staring at his face while emotions flitted across it, fear, hate, confusion, anger, and sadness. "Uncle Mort, are you okay?"

Mort shook himself and winced, remembering his cut and his growing headache. "You're…not going to a motel, ok? Go get changed, you're making the floor wet."

The kids were surprised at this, but moved quickly in case he changed his mind. When the kids exited the room, Mort ran his fingers through his hair. He winced when his bruises and tired muscles complained. _ Goddamnit, stupid stairs. _He kicked off his shoes and took off his jacket. He then shuffled into the kitchen, still cursing, to find the aspirin that Kate and Anna had found for him. He found them by the sink so he sat down at the table with the pills and a glass of water.

Meanwhile, the kids each grabbed a clean, dry set of clothes and towelled themselves dry while they took turns in the bathroom to have a shower and change. Since Anna had been the last one in the shower, she was the first this time. When she had finished, she went downstairs to find Mort. She found him asleep on the table, his head resting on his arms, he had his head turned to one side and she could see the cut partially covered by his hair.

Kate came down the stairs and stood beside Anna. "Do you think we should try to disinfect his cut?

"Yes, while Sir Grumpy-pants is still out cold."

"C'mon Anna, he was worried about us."

Anna smirked down at the sleeping figure in front of them. "Yeah, I guess so. Though I appreciate the concern, he's probably going to be feeling a lot worse now when he wakes up."

"All the more reason to do this while he's asleep!" Kate said brightly. "He won't have time to get away and we don't want to prolong his torture."

"He'll be so happy to see us gone." Max said from behind the girls, startling them both.

Anna narrowed her eyes at him "You're beginning to act like Mort."

"Well you already sound like a miniature version of mum!" He poked his tongue out at her and she copied the action.

"Oh come on you guys, grow up. We need to do this now before he wakes up from the overgrown egos in the room crushing him to death."

Anna sighed and went to fetch the bottle of peroxide. She poured it carefully onto a towel. She faced Mort's sleeping figure. "I hope he'll forgive me for this."

* * *

A/N: Short as hell and twice as crappy…sorry guys…I'm not in the greatest mindset as you can tell…feel free to review…or not…two people over for my 17th birthday…that have to go the next day…because they have jobs….i don't… only two people because another made excuses and most people don't like me that much… what a joyous existence…. SOrry again to my beta reader, feel free to hunt me down and shoot/maim me/steal my chocolate


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